I survived secret government mind control experiments and all I got was this stupid t-shirt. Well, and I can move objects with my mind. A bit of pyrokinesis if I concentrate real hard. I can go like three minutes without blinking now, but folks are less impressed by that one.

• Soft cotton tee, unisex fit, true to size
• Screen-printed in the USA with premium ink
• Machine wash cold, tumble dry low

For people whose origin story is classified and also, somehow, a bit.